


Beyond the Sea

by keelahselai



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: 3000+ EMS, Bittersweet Ending, Destroy Ending, Drabble, F/M, Mass Effect 3, Spacer (Mass Effect), Vanguard (Mass Effect), another completely necessary end fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 04:10:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4125088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelahselai/pseuds/keelahselai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judging by how quickly the blood seeped through her fingers, she didn't have long to make her decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond the Sea

There really was only one option.

Shepard listened to the Catalyst as best as she could, exhausted mind trying to make sense of what it was saying. She'd lost a lot of blood, too much blood, and it felt like she was covered in it and grime and probably pieces of the various Reaper forces from all the charging she had done fighting her way to the end run, when she couldn't avoid Harbinger's attack quite in time.

Shepard didn't know how she was still alive, frankly.

Her N7 armor had finally been done in, half of it shattered in the Reaper attack, and her shields weren't functioning properly either. If the Illusive Man had shot at her...

The Catalyst had stopped talking and looked at her expectantly. Two ramps had ascended from below, opening up pathways to the end and it took all her willpower to keep limping forward, although her body screamed at her to stop moving and find medi-gel somewhere. If she had been made of a weaker mettle, she would have made her way to control the Reapers, immortal and the single most powerful non-being in the galaxy who controlled the Reapers. _Reapers._

It seemed too good to be true.

What if she lost control of them? What if they returned to the galaxy and began to destroy everything again? She would be powerless to stop them, just a concept watching and desperately wishing to be able to change and fight. She would be the only thing left alive in a very empty galaxy and completely unable to die.

Besides, she saw what happened to the Illusive Man in his quest to control the Reapers.

That left two options, both equally unappealing. On one hand, she would change everyone's genetic code on a fundamental basis, effectively turning them into Reapers, and on the other hand, the peace she worked so hard for between the geth and quarians - Legion's sacrifice - would be for nought when all synthetics were wiped out. Including EDI. EDI, who had tried so hard to understand humans and mimic behavior of organics. EDI, who wanted to make Joker as happy as she could in the darkest hours of the war. EDI, who had saved Joker from the Collectors and helped them through the Omega-4 Relay and back.

And judging by how quickly the blood seeped through her fingers while she added pressure to her gut wound, she didn't have long to make her decision. 

Shepard did her best to move forward, dragging herself up the ramp. Billions of lives were riding on her, but in that moment she could only think about her crew. From Garrus, who she never anticipated becoming her best friend way back when they met on the Citadel in their hunt for Saren, to Donnelly and Daniels, to Thane.

Thane.

When he had died, she was numb. It didn't register that he was actually gone until that night when she returned to her cabin. Shepard had known their time was short beforehand and gone forward with their quiet relationship. It had been comfortable silence and small smiles, and the relief upon hearing his raspy voice reporting in after she, Legion, and Garrus had taken down the human Reaper was a massive weight off her shoulders. And somewhere along the line, the warmth of a new relationship had given way to love.

She had stumbled and held her shelf of model ships for support, asking EDI in a shaking voice to log her out for a bit before screaming until her voice was raw and no more tears could push through and she just felt empty. Her crew was more than sympathetic: Liara made her sleep and kept gently reminding her to do so, Garrus proved to be a good listener and was the best friend she could ask for in the situation, and Cortez, who understood all too well the pain she felt, took her to Purgatory as soon as he could with drinks on him. And Shepard was truly grateful for them.

The feeling of her omni-tool penetrating Kai Leng's armor and exiting through the other side, hearing the breath exit his body in a quiet gasp was the among the most darkly satisfying moments she'd experienced.

Shepard could only wonder, as she so slowly inched toward the tube with her gun arm being steadier than she would have ever thought, if she might wake up on a beach somewhere, sun beating her skin and hot sand on her back. And maybe there would be cool fingers stroking through her hair and raspy voice greeting her as she woke up.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she fuzzily recalled an old Earth song about the sea her mother used to sing to her as a child. Something about a lover beyond the sea and sailing. Unbidden, Shepard hummed the tune, her shot vocal chords breaking more often than not. She shot the tube to destroy the Reapers and everything was red and then black and Shepard couldn't help but hope to wake up across the sea.

But then she took a breath.


End file.
